P(ZY)CHEDELIC ☮

My insecurities,
they get to me.

My thoughts,
they come out negatively.



Sometimes I seem to drag myself to my own misery.

On my way to fulfilling another goal: the title that’d make the four years of stress in college worthwhile. Been pressuring myself since day one. 

But my mind keeps drifting away. Not good.

On my way to fulfilling another goal: the title that’d make the four years of stress in college worthwhile. Been pressuring myself since day one.

But my mind keeps drifting away. Not good.

Late night thoughts

Five years from now, what could I possibly have already achieved by then?

Will I be able to be of help to everyone as I promised them now? Will I be able to reside in a place that’s thousands of miles away from my motherland as I hoped I would? Will I get to buy the things that I want and need from my own earnings? Will the people that I treasure the most today stay the same?

What new lessons will I be learning from life? What new sights and nature’s wonders will I be able to see? What new experiences will I be having?


Also:
What would my next “big step” be?
Will I be much much happier by then?

After I graduate, I want to live on my own for a short while.

I want to explore the real world and go on spontaneous adventures it has to offer. I want to meet new people, learn new things, enjoy new hobbies.. I want a fresh start. I want to leave behind (although not entirely) all these.

Maybe then I could finally know what I really want to do with my life, what I want to become and what would make me feel fulfilled.

But I can’t. I have my responsibilities.
Someday soon, though, I hope.

2 years ago / 4 notes / personal,

Wow.

If you want to pour all your emotions—hurt, sadness, loneliness, frustrations or everything except happiness (because you rarely do so anyway)—to me, it’s okay. But all of you bombarding me with such negativity all at once is just too much to grab a hold of. I’m afraid you’re forgetting that I, too, am also dealing with my personal dilemmas.

So please, at times when I’m not able to answer your calls or messages right away, the least that you can do is understand and not sound as if I’ve completely ignored you.

I could use a few human minutes too.

2 years ago / 7 notes / personal,
 
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