Imagine a glass that has been slowly filled until full. You knew already that you won’t like it but you took one or two sips anyway just so the content won’t flow out of the container and also out of respect for the one who offered it. Someone then fills it up again so you took another few more sips. It became a cycle until you eventually got tired of doing the same thing over and over. So finally, you stopped and let it flow freely.
Excuse my analogy but that’s the best that I can come up with right now.
Everytime I get upset, sad or mad about something, I just keep it bottled inside and distance myself from people. My brother don’t know why I won’t talk to him sometimes and keep myself locked in my room; my other family members would wonder why I won’t return their calls and texts sometimes for almost a month; my friends would tease me of how hot-tempered I can be or how I refuse to meet with them when they have plans. My boyfriend, on the other hand, knows almost everything. He isn’t just a boyfriend but also a bestfriend in the truest sense of the word. He heard me breakdown one too many times already. But a person can only handle so much.
I have no intentions of making anyone my shock absorber because I know how exhausting it feels to be one. So now I’m back to square one — to keeping things to myself. It isn’t a healthy habit but at least I don’t make things complicated for other people as well.
I just hope I don’t explode anytime soon.