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roiserrano:

Each day, I find more reasons why I am unworthy to be loved. A lot of insecurities and doubts fill me up and somehow consume me, making it difficult for me to be able to see how worthy I am of everything. I have too much emotional baggage and I’m afraid that there will be no one willing to take it off of my shoulders.

via roiserrano / 8 months ago / 38 notes / this!!!, reblog,

Imagine a glass that has been slowly filled until full. You knew already that you won’t like it but you took one or two sips anyway just so the content won’t flow out of the container and also out of respect for the one who offered it. Someone then fills it up again so you took another few more sips. It became a cycle until you eventually got tired of doing the same thing over and over. So finally, you stopped and let it flow freely.

Excuse my analogy but that’s the best that I can come up with right now.

Everytime I get upset, sad or mad about something, I just keep it bottled inside and distance myself from people. My brother don’t know why I won’t talk to him sometimes and keep myself locked in my room; my other family members would wonder why I won’t return their calls and texts sometimes for almost a month; my friends would tease me of how hot-tempered I can be or how I refuse to meet with them when they have plans. My boyfriend, on the other hand, knows almost everything. He isn’t just a boyfriend but also a bestfriend in the truest sense of the word. He heard me breakdown one too many times already. But a person can only handle so much.

I have no intentions of making anyone my shock absorber because I know how exhausting it feels to be one. So now I’m back to square one — to keeping things to myself. It isn’t a healthy habit but at least I don’t make things complicated for other people as well.

I just hope I don’t explode anytime soon.

1 year ago / 1 note / do, i, even, make, sense, here,
tylerknott:

"I wonder how many," he whispered, glancing up, out, and beyond even the mountains in the distance. 
"How many what?" she wondered.
"More…how many more of these we’ll miss together."
The Pastel Fading of Early Summer Light (by TylerKnott)

tylerknott:

"I wonder how many," he whispered, glancing up, out, and beyond even the mountains in the distance. 

"How many what?" she wondered.

"More…how many more of these we’ll miss together."

The Pastel Fading of Early Summer Light (by TylerKnott)

via tylerknott / 1 year ago / 531 notes /

4:50 AM

For a while, I’ve only been lurking here in Tumblr. I even thought of deactivating this account altogether and start anew with my other one.

Though to be fair, I did try making new posts here. But all of it only left dumped in my Drafts. I just can’t seem to construct sensible entries (not that my previous ones make a lot of sense anyway) when I’m using my phone. It just doesn’t feel right somehow. Maybe I should start using the laptop more often again. Let’s see.

1 year ago / 1 note /

“I just didn’t see it coming, you know?” he started.

To which she disagreed. “You did. I think both of us did.”

“Where..” he paused, not exactly sure what to say next or how to say it.. “Where exactly did I go wrong?”

She looked at him, smiled sadly and replied, “You always knew I’d be there, wherever, whenever. When we fight, may it be your fault or mine, I was always the first to approach and first to apologize. I considered myself satisfied with all the half-hearted efforts you did for me. I’ve always kept myself available for you even if it means having no more time left for myself.”

“I thought by showing you how important you are to me, you’d realize my worth and do the same. But instead of seeing me as something fragile, you saw me as something constant. And I.. I guess I just grew tired of waiting, of being put on hold until further notice.”

As she was to leave, she let herself have a last glance of him. “..It’s my fault too. I settled for less than what I deserve,” she said, merely above a whisper.

He sat frozen in his place trying to think of all the things he could’ve done otherwise.

But he knew it’s all too late.

1 year ago / 1 note / fiction,
 
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